Danny

[drfeelbad]

It was completely ridiculous that House and Danny were still just sleeping in the same bed, like that was totally normal. Sometimes they even woke up snuggled against each other, and then pretended like nothing had happened. Perhaps it was just a testament to the strange world they were in. Everything was ridiculous.

It was bound to happen eventually, but House had a dream about him. Yes, him - Danny. He dreamed of the younger man on his knees in front of him. Tempting. And when House woke, he was pressed against his back. Hard against him, one arm draped over him. Hard against him. He didn't moved, afraid to, and also not wanting to just yet. Wondering if Danny was still asleep.

Comments

[london_spy]

Danny woke slowly, aware of how close Greg was, and the other man's arousal. He was still at first, then relaxed into the other man.

It was nice to be held, to feel wanted, even if he was sure Greg was thinking about the fae.

[drfeelbad]

House realized then that Danny wasn't asleep, and he also wasn't pulling away. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, shifted his body against him so that his erection was nestled against his ass, and after a moment's hesitation, very gently stroked Danny's bare arm with his fingertips.

[london_spy]

Danny was keen, he wouldn't pretend he wasn't, but there was one thing holding him back.

"I'm sick," he reminded Greg quietly. "...I know that I'm medicating, and- I know it could be safe, but-"

But the world wasn't safe anymore.

[drfeelbad]

House's hand stilled. And then after a several second pause said quietly, "I know. Of course I know."

It would be different if he had access to PReP. Which... well, he did have someone fetching medication for him...

"Maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves," he finally said. But was still touching him.

[london_spy]

Danny rolled over to face him, keeping close as his own hand rested on Greg's hip.

"Maybe," he agreed.

[drfeelbad]

It would be so very easy to shift just enough to kiss him.

"Sorry about the, ah... I was dreaming."

[london_spy]

"Don't apologize. It's just human nature, yeah?" Danny shrugged.

[drfeelbad]

House hesitated visibly, and then reached out and stroked his hand against Danny's hair. "I've been trying very hard," he said softly, "not to think about you. But it seems my subconscious has other ideas."

[london_spy]

Danny looked a bit surprised, having genuinely assumed the man's mind was elsewhere and his body was simply here. Once he'd have just shrugged it off, so confident in his ability to pull that he'd have either been pleased with himself or rolling his eyes at the attention. Things had changed though, now all he could think about was the danger of being with someone who'd been so kind to him. Who deserved to stay safe.

"I wont say I haven't had my own dreams, but- Maybe that's all they should be. It's not like before, we can't just go to the clinic and get you on prep. We're back in the dark ages here."

[drfeelbad]

House frowned a little. "So... what, you're done? No more sexual relationships for the rest of your life? It's the end of the world, Danny. Statistically neither of us should be alive at all."

[london_spy]

"I don't want to live knowing I might be the reason someone is suffering," Danny replied quietly. "I can't carry that."

[drfeelbad]

House rolled over onto his back, and looked up at the ceiling. "Okay, let me throw some statistics at you then. The odds of contracting HIV from bottoming is less than one in a hundred. But odds from topping is almost one in a thousand. And that risk is cut by 60% by wearing a condom. Also though of course we have shit resources for testing so we can't be sure, with the meds you're on the odds are you're at an undetectable level, and there have been studies that suggest the risk then is practically zero."

[london_spy]

"I'd still feel better if there were pills," Danny admitted. "...But if you think it's safe, I do trust you," he admitted.

[drfeelbad]

House turned his head to look at him. "I'm also not saying we should have sex right this minute, I just... if you might also want to... explore whatever this is, I don't think we should stop it before it starts."

[london_spy]

"And what is this, do you think?" Danny asked quietly.

[drfeelbad]

House looked back up at the ceiling. "I like you."

[london_spy]

Danny was still looking at him, silent for a moment before wetting his lips and saying, "I like you too."

[drfeelbad]

House was glad he didn't have an erection anymore; that would have been embarrassing during this whole thing.

He turned onto his side again, to face him. Quirked a smile. "You're sure it's not just that you've gotten used to my bed?"

[london_spy]

"It's not that good a bed," Danny assured him with an amused little snort.

[drfeelbad]

"Then you should kiss me," House said, his lip twitching up, trying to seem amused instead of self conscious.

[london_spy]

Danny held his gaze a beat- Then leaned in and kissed him hard.

[drfeelbad]

House made a sound of surprise, that immediately turned into something rather like a moan.

He hadn't kissed anyone, except Nyx that one night, in almost a year.

[london_spy]

Danny let the kiss linger, for a moment daring to just let himself feel something like happiness. Maybe even pretend there was a future ahead to look forward to.

[drfeelbad]

They were still laying on the bed facing each other, and House slipped a hand lightly into Danny's hair as the kiss broke.

"I'm going to get an even better actor to play me in the film now aren't I," he murmured.

[london_spy]

Danny laughed out loud at that, a smile on his lips as he settled back against the pillow.

"I'm sure whoever it is will draw a real crowd at the abandoned Sainsbury's parking lot for the red carpet."

[drfeelbad]

House was very tempted to yank Danny onto his lap and just keep kissing him. He was very kissable.

But instead he said, "So I don't really know what to do now. Usually this is the part where I'm thinking about how to get you into bed, but..." He gestured.

[london_spy]

"...Right," Danny replied, smile fading just a bit.

Sex. It always came back to sex. He loved sex, considered himself excellent in bed, but being with Alex had shown him a world outside of the bedroom. Though he supposed he and Greg wouldn't be going on hikes for a multitude of reasons.

[drfeelbad]

"... that was a joke," House said, because it seemed that wasn't obvious. "I just mean... this is weird. Everything's fucking weird."

[london_spy]

"Yeah," Danny replied. "Not exactly going on dates here. Or going anywhere, really."

The whole place was a bit claustrophobic, despite how sprawling it was.

[drfeelbad]

"Well so long as we don't have anything else to do let's get an awkward conversation out of the way," House said lightly. "I uh... I just think maybe you didn't believe me before so I wanted to tell you again that there's nothing going on between me and Nyx. And there wasn't ever. Except - once."

[london_spy]

"You really don't need to tell me," Danny assured him. "It's fine, really."

[drfeelbad]

"I just want you to know you're not some... I don't know, second choice."

House leaned in again, and brushed his lips to Danny's jaw. "You're something else, you're something more."

[london_spy]

Danny desperately wanted to believe that. He wanted to matter to someone. ...To Greg.

His fingers clutched lightly at the other man, but he found himself unsure of what to say- Certain he'd say the wrong thing, as he often did.

[drfeelbad]

House kissed his neck, and wrapped his arms around him. "Everything here totally sucks except for you."

[london_spy]

Danny held on tighter, a feeling of dread settling in his gut.

Nothing good ever lasted. Not for him.

"Don't get too attached," he said quietly. "I'll only end up disappointing you. I always do."

[drfeelbad]

"Oh good," said House. "We have that in common. I've pushed away everyone who's ever cared about me."

[london_spy]

"I'm not... I'm not pushing you away, I'm just warning you. I'll fuck this up, I always do," Danny said.

[drfeelbad]

"Like I said, a perfect match," House said dryly. "We can race."

[london_spy]

Danny watched him for a long moment, then took his hand in his own.

"Okay," he said simply.

[drfeelbad]

House brought Danny's hand to his lips and kissed it. He kind of didn't want to leave the bed now, even if it was just being here with him. Like what the fuck was out there?

[london_spy]

Danny watched, and after a beat settled in closer again, curling up a bit against Greg in a way he'd not really allowed himself before.

It felt good just to be held again, to lay with someone he trusted.

[drfeelbad]

House's arm slipped comfortably around him, and he stroked Danny's arm. "I just want you to know that as much as I want to bone you, I respect you even more," he murmured, a smile tugging at his lips.

[london_spy]

"You really know how to make a boy feel special, huh?" Danny joked softly, pressing just a little closer.

"It's honestly nice to just... Be held, you know?" he confessed. "To feel safe."

[drfeelbad]

"And that makes me happy," House said, and actually meant it. He also decided in that moment that he wasn't going to initiate sex until Danny did. The way he felt was more important. And House was, believe it or not, a patient man.

[london_spy]

"It's been a really long time since I last felt safe," he admitted, his palm settling flat against House's chest, touching him lightly, finally letting himself become more familiar with the shape of him.

[drfeelbad]

House was wearing a threadbare white t-shirt, and he could practically feel Danny's fingers on his skin through the material. "And it's been a very long time since I've felt needed," he said after a moment. Or wanted, for that matter.

[london_spy]

"Well you are," Danny said quietly, letting his hand slip beneath the man's shirt as he closed his eyes.

It felt good to feel connected to another person again.

[drfeelbad]

House tightened his arms around him and closed his eyes, too. They might as well go back to sleep. He felt better than he had in a long time.