Nyx

[drfeelbad]

When he picked him up at the airport (late, after multiple flight delays), the first words House heard out of Wilson's mouth in almost two years were: “Seriously? Two years of radio silence, and you can’t even get out of the car?”

He took them straight from the airport to a bar, and to be fair Wilson did look at Nyx's file before they started getting drinking.

And after House dropped Wilson off at the hotel, things he'd said were just running through House's mind, he always had these stupidly true little jabs.

You’re not your worst moment. You never were.

Honestly I never really thought that your sexuality was limited to people who annoyed you in one specific gender.

You keep insisting it’s casual, but I’ve never seen you this careful.

You’d rather be right than happy. You always have.

God House fucking hated that about him.

He picked him up the next morning and brought him to Nyx's place. How did Wilson always look so fucking put together? "I see you remembered your hair gel," he said as Wilson climbed into his car.

"You must really like this guy, you're wearing a clean shirt," Wilson returned.

It wasn't long before they were standing in front of Nyx's door. When he opened it, House held out a box. "I brought bagels," he said.

Comments

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx could feel the tension between them, and for all Wilson seemed very kind and gentle, he could tell there was upset there directed at House.

"We all grin and bear it a bit," Nyx said. "None of us is an open book really, we're all always pretending something."

He got the feeling Wilson was the sort of person who was pretending most of the time.

Wilson finished, and Nyx watched him for a long moment. "I plan to keep working through my treatment. I want to keep doing the show, and I agreed to do a few concerts with a friend. I can do that, right?"

He wasn't stupid, he knew he was going to be tired, that the chemo would chip away at him bit by bit. He'd watched it happen to his sister, seen as her skin had started to go slightly gray and her beautiful hair had fallen out in clumps. When she'd finally given in and chopped it all off, he helped her wrap a scarf around what remained. She'd smiled through it all- Nyx couldn't imagine smiling through any of it. He didn't want to stop though, he didn't want to slow down.

[drfeelbad]

Wilson gave a small, sympathetic smile. “I get it,” he said. “Believe me, I do. I’ve had patients do all kinds of things between treatments, work, teach, write, parent… and some of them did more than just get through it. They thrived.”

He leaned back slightly, pausing.

“But I’m going to be honest with you, because better to hear it from me than crash into it later: you’re already running on fumes.”

House had a feeling he knew what Wilson was about to say; he'd already suspected, but hadn't say taken Nyx's blood pressure to confirm.

“Your heart rate’s elevated, your blood pressure dips when you shift, and you’re showing the early signs of dehydration. Which means right now, before we’ve even started chemo, your body’s telling me it’s already in a deficit. And that's not just the disease."

A pause. Just enough to give Nyx a chance to fill in the blank.

Then, gently, “Whatever you’ve been using to cope—it might’ve worked for a while. But this is a different kind of fight. And we need your body clear enough to handle what’s coming.”

His expression didn't show a hint of judgment, which House found a bit ironic considering expressions he'd gotten from Wilson over the years.

"We need a plan that keeps you on your feet without hollowing you out," Wilson continued. "You can keep working. But only if we make your health part of that schedule, not an afterthought. That means fluids. Real meals. Sleep that lasts longer than a nap in a trailer between takes. And maybe also we need to get you support—medical, therapeutic, human—whatever makes the most sense."

He glanced at House, and House imagined that he was biting back some kind of comment about House's appropriateness as a sober companion.

[tempting_the_fates]

"I'm not using. ...I mean-" Nyx paused to straighten his thoughts out, then took a calming breath. "It's not habitual, or whatever they'd call it. Sometimes I take something to come down a bit, that's all. It's never been easy to sleep all night, it's been worse lately."

He pushed his hair back again, and slumped back in his seat. "I stopped with the coke, and I'm not doing anything too heavy..." A lie, he'd shot up only days ago, and had been itching for more ever since. "I don't think I'm drinking as much..."

He wasn't drinking much less though. Nyx had always been an addict, from cigarettes to booze, before creeping onto the harder stuff. He'd managed to kick a heroin habit a few years before coming to the states, but having dabbled again recently, he knew he was teetering on the edge of falling right back into it. It was just how he functioned. Without something in his system, he tended to slip right back into depression.

[drfeelbad]

House shot a look at Nyx. "Look, I understand the impulse but it's really not going to help you to lie to your doctors."

[tempting_the_fates]

"I'm not- I mean I shot up, but it was once," Nyx said, looking a bit upset.

[drfeelbad]

House felt a little bad for snapping at him. "I just wish you'd told me instead of having to find out from your bloodwork," he said quietly. He also suspected - no, not even suspected, knew - that Nyx still wasn't being completely truthful.

Wilson looked at touch surprised at House's reaction capitulation, but then turned his attention to Nyx, still no judgment in his voice. "Thank you for telling me. Still information we need. Not because I’m going to put it in some chart and report it to someone, but because it affects your treatment—your body’s ability to handle what we’re about to throw at it.”

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx nodded a little, but he seemed further away now. The walls were coming up, and he was retreating into himself bit by bit.

"I'll stop," he said. "It's fine, I'll stop."

[drfeelbad]

House didn’t look at Nyx right away. He stared down at the table like the coffee had suddenly become very interesting, tapping his finger once against the side of the mug.

Then, finally, quietly: “It’s not about saying you’ll stop." Pause. "I’ve seen people mean it. I’ve meant it. That doesn’t make it stick. And I'm not suggesting you go to rehab or something, Nyx, just - "

Wilson finished the sentence for him. "You need a plan. Chemo’s going to make everything harder—sleep, pain, mood, even your sense of time. And when all of that’s slipping, even a small temptation will hit hard. So we build in safeguards."

[tempting_the_fates]

"Like what?" Nyx asked, glancing between the pair. "How do you safeguard against addiction?"

He looked right at Greg when he asked that, fully aware the other man had a problem when it came to painkillers.

[drfeelbad]

Wilson was the first to speak though. “There’s no one-size-fits-all,” he said, evenly. “But it starts with having people around you who won’t pretend not to notice when you’re slipping.”

House suddenly looked... uncomfortable.

“You build routines that leave less room for the dark stuff to sneak in," Wilson continued. "You sleep. You eat. You move your body even when you don’t want to. You make lists, and plans. And you also make sure the people around you know how to watch for the red flags before they turn into an emergency. Also doctors who know that even better."

[tempting_the_fates]

"Right, but... There are people in my life who tend to, um... I suppose enable is the term I should use. People I can't just cut out," Nyx admitted, thinking of Will. "It's harder sometimes. Really hard."

He glanced at House, then wet his lips again with another nervous flick of his tongue.

"I'm gonna try, but fuck ups happen."

[drfeelbad]

House looked at Nyx a touch sharply at that confession. He didn't like the idea of Nyx having someone in his life who was bad for him. There was a world in which House could have been that person... but he was pretty sure he wasn't.

“You can’t control what they do," Wilson said. "You can control what you plan for, at least. That’s where we start.”

House's expression softened a little. "You can try. That's good."

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx nodded a little, leaning back in his seat and looking thoughtful for a moment.

"So what happens next?" he asked finally.

[drfeelbad]

Wilson rested his hands in his lap, glancing between them. "Alright. Here's how we do this."

He ticked the points off on his fingers.

"First, we get updated labs. Blood counts, organ function, full panel. No assumptions off old data."

He looked at House deliberately. "You can either bully his oncologist into ordering them or I can write a very polite, very aggressive letter. Your choice."

House grunted but didn’t argue.

"Second," Wilson continued, turning back to Nyx, "you follow up with your primary oncologist. I’ll draft a recommendation—treatment shouldn’t be delayed unless those labs show a real reason. We go in strong, controlled, not half-measures."

Wilson softened slightly before continuing. "Third, we set you up with some support before chemo starts. Fluids, nutrition, someone on-call to help with the mental health side of things if you need it. Nothing heavy-handed. No hand-holding unless you ask for it."

"And finally," Wilson added, flicking his eyes toward House with faint amusement, "your local support system. Meaning House gets to pretend to be a responsible adult. And he can also keep me looped in from afar on your progress."

This was roughly the sort of thing House had expected, so he only nodded.

[tempting_the_fates]

It all felt overwhelming, but Nyx nodded. It was fine, he was relatively good at going where he was meant to go and doing what was asked. That's all this was, at its core, going from place to place and doing as he was asked.

He'd be fine. This was... Fine.

"So when's your wedding?" he asked, changing the subject. He was done thinking about cancer. "Greg's mentioned it a few times."

Kind of true. He'd mentioned it twice.

[drfeelbad]

"A little over a month," said Wilson, and glanced at House. "Your date still hasn't RSVPed."

House didn't respond to that.

"It's possible you'll be well enough to attend," Wilson continued to Nyx. "If you start right away, things will be roughest at the beginning, and then it goes in phases, depending on how things progress."

House added quickly, "There are options for writing around this in the show. We can talk through them."

[tempting_the_fates]

"Yeah, no, I want to keep filming," Nyx insisted. "I don't want to stop working, Greg."

He didn't comment on the date thing, he didn't want to assume House wanted him to come.

[drfeelbad]

"... sure," said Wilson. "Just keep in mind that the first few weeks aren’t a test of how tough you are. It’s biology. You listen to your body or you end up back in a hospital bed faster than anyone wants."

House added, "And like I said, the show can adjust. You get a few dramatic hospital scenes, we call it method acting, everybody wins."

Then he added, too offhand to be casual, "And for the record, RSVP or not, you’re still my date. Unless you’ve got a better offer."

He didn’t look at Nyx when he said it, just sipped his coffee like the conversation was about the weather.

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx glanced at Wilson, trying to gauge his reaction.

"It would be nice to go with you," he assured Greg. "I just didn't want to assume."

[drfeelbad]

Wilson didn’t say anything, just gave Nyx a brief, measured nod. But his gaze flicked sideways toward House.

House set his coffee cup on the table and it hit with a soft thud.

"You're not assuming," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're invited."

He looked down, almost muttering. "Didn't fly James across the country to patch up just anybody."

It slipped out too easily, too honest. And the second it was said, House grimaced slightly—already regretting giving that much away.

Wilson's lips twitched. "You really know how to make a guy feel special," he said lightly. There was a mix of exasperation and fondness in his voice.

House shot him a look that was pure irritation—and pure deflection. "You're just jealous he's prettier than you."

Wilson just sat back, sipping his coffee around a smirk.

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx laughed awkwardly, pushing his hair back and doing his best not to fidget.

"Well, I'm sorry we're not meeting under better circumstances," he assured him.

He glanced between the pair a little, then wet his lips with a quick flick of his tongue. "Must be nice to get to see one another again, Greg told me it's been a while."

[drfeelbad]

Wilson gave a small, cautious smile that didn’t quite smooth out the tension in his shoulders.

"Yeah," he said, glancing at House. "It’s been... a while."

House gave a short, humorless laugh under his breath. "Guess I'm not a great conversation starter when the last thing you said was under oath."

Wilson winced. Finally he said, "I did what I thought was right." Not defensive. Just tired. "And well, we're here now."

House shrugged—small, stiff. "Water under the burning bridge," he muttered. "And, you know. I didn't exactly have a lot of people I felt like calling." It wasn't exactly forgiveness, but it was something.

[tempting_the_fates]

Nyx wasn't looking to start a fight between the pair, and let it be for now. Besides, he could tell Greg was trying.

"You should take him out tonight," Nyx suggested to House, nodding at Wilson. "I know a guy who can get you a table at that new seafood place."

[drfeelbad]

"You could come with us," House said. "I mean... if you're feeling up to it. I need someone else to make fun of Wilson's tie."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "I'm not wearing a tie."

"You will be if we go out. You can't have changed that much in two years."

[tempting_the_fates]

"I don't know, I'm really tired," Nyx admitted. "Besides, I'm sure you'd both like to catch up."

[drfeelbad]

"You sure?" House said, hesitantly. "We could always get take-out instead..."

[tempting_the_fates]

"You don't have to look after me," he insisted quietly, not wanting House to think he had to start looking after him. He didn't want to be anyone's burden. "It's fine. I'm fine. Haven't even started treatment, right? Let me save up my favours for when I'm falling apart," he joked with an awkward laugh.

[drfeelbad]

After a beat, House let out a small, barely audible sigh.

"Fine," he said. "But if Wilson starts talking about wedding seating charts, I’m faking a stroke."

Wilson gave him a look, but didn’t interrupt. He knew that tone. That was House’s version of letting go.

House rubbed the back of his neck. "Let me know if you change your mind?"

[tempting_the_fates]

"I will," Nyx promised, getting up and making his way over to House. For a moment he was worried he might be doing something wrong- Exposing things Greg might not want exposed in front of his friend, but he still leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Thank you," he said quietly.